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Big Kahuna Burger ^ Little Kahuna Salads
I’ve opened a door here that I regret. That’s why you always leave a note! It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. I’m half machine. I’m a monster. I care deeply for nature. As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ Marry me. Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time! First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians.
You’re welcome on my boat. God ain’t. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! If anyone gets nosy, just …you know … shoot ’em. Shoot ’em? Politely, of course. Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ’em right back! Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction. We live in a spaceship, dear. I’ve been under fire before. Well … I’ve been in a fire. Actually, I was fired. I can handle myself. Next time you want to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face. Also? I can kill you with my brain.
Elementary, my dear Watson. You know my method. It is founded upon the observation of trifles. I must apologize for calling so late, and I must further beg you to be so unconventional as to allow me to leave your house presently by scrambling over your back garden wall. You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear. My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people don’t know. Education never ends, Watson. It is a series of lessons, with the greatest for the last. Show Holmes a drop of water and he would deduce the existence of the Atlantic. Show it to me and I would look for a tap. That was the difference between us. Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes up and gives Dr. Watson a nudge. ‘Watson’ he says, ‘look up in the sky and tell me what you see.’ ‘I see millions of stars, Holmes,’ says Watson. ‘And what do you conclude from that, Watson?’ Watson thinks for a moment. ‘Well,’ he says, ‘astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meterologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and we are small and insignificant. Uh, what does it tell you, Holmes?’ ‘Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!’ Come, Watson, come! The game is afoot. Not a word! Into your clothes and come! Man, or at least criminal man, has lost all enterprise and originality. As to my own little practice, it seems to be degenerating into an agency for recovering lost lead pencils and giving advice to young ladies from boarding-schools.
Show Holmes a drop of water and he would deduce the existence of the Atlantic. Show it to me and I would look for a tap. That was the difference between us. Elementary, my dear Watson. I have always held, too, that pistol practice should be distinctly an open-air pastime; and when Holmes, in one of his queer humours, would sit in an armchair with his hair-trigger and a hundred Boxer cartridges and proceed to adorn the opposite wall with a patriotic V.R. done in bullet pocks, I felt strongly that neither the atmosphere nor the appearance of our room was improved by it.